


Perhaps Love

by tunaciel



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Bobjun - Freeform, M/M, junbob
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:48:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22294324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tunaciel/pseuds/tunaciel
Summary: When Junhoe asked to be treated as a little brother and thought it might solve the 'problem', meanwhile the circumstance has left Bobby with no option but to grant his favor.
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 23
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just because Junbob are being loud these days therefore I need to write  
> 

It was last september when the boys have decided to continue their road, ever since then Bobby has been spending most of his time in the studio, and fortunately there is Junhoe who has been there with him, because Donghyuk who used to accompany him is now busy in the dance studio with Jinhwan, meanwhile Yun Hyung and Chanwoo are practicing their vocals while keeping the fans updated with their vlogs on youtube.

Actually Ikon have held a meeting with the new CEO and their production team, they were planning on how the group gonna be, and for the time being the new boss would assign a couple of producers in charge of working on the production of Ikon's music.   
But the members insisted to maintain the authenticity of their music and style, therefore they all have agreed with artist request to give the rights to produce the music by themselves, and to have a say in every concepts of their comebacks, of course they were not given a hundred percent freedom in that matter, they will still be assisted by the support team in the process. 

To be fair this matter is very sensitive for Ikon members, particularly Bobby, he's was very persistent about the idea of self-producing song, not that he wants to replace hanbin position as Ikon's main producer, he just remember what his leader dongsaeng told him in their last day before leaving their dorm. 

  
//

 _"Jiwon hyung, I hope you could guide the boys and keep going with our music just like before, i trust you hyung"_ while hugging Bobby tightly, Hanbin whispered those words _"Ikon is still Ikon with or without me"_ and then he released him from his hug.

  
Although Bobby wanted to disagree with Hanbin's words, he could not say a word at the time, he was too afraid that his emotion might burst again and end up crying or shouting like a madman, not at that time, when the other members were watching them from behind, they already promised to be calm for the sake of their leader, it would be his last day, his last memory at their home.   
In the end with that gloomy face, Bobby tried his best to smile, _"you know you're ikon too ... forever"_

  
Hanbin just returned the smile to Bobby, then he proceeded to hug the rest of his brothers one by one. 

  
After bid his last farewell he followed his now ex-manager hyung who already waited for him in front of the elevator, with a large luggage containing some of hanbin's remaining belonging which he's gonna take back home. 


	2. Chapter 2

It was already 10 o'clock at night at Bobby's private studio, Bobby and Junhoe are still busy cooking the new song, not necessarily the song for their next single or album, they're not even sure whether they would get a comeback in the near future.

 _"Hyung, let's retry this part again"_ Junhoe said after messed up his vocal. Bobby just chuckle and nods in agreement.

And then Junhoe proceeded to give another try, _"how was that?"_ he glanced at Bobby.

 _"That's nice but let's try one more time"_  
Bobby speaks softly with a little smile formed in his face.

  
If there's anyone watching him at this moment, they might think that Bobby is the softest music producer in the entire univers. but not with Goo Junhoe, he really looks up to Bobby as a musician, even since their trainee days, he was more reticent to Bobby than his own leader, and of course he never said that to anyone.

 _"Oh ... Okay"_ Junhoe replied a bit stutter

Right after Junhoe did it, he immediately stole a glance towards Bobby, silently reading his reaction.

Bobby was silent for a couple of seconds after he listened to Junhoe's new attempt.  
_"Perfect!"_ he said with little clap, and Junhoe followed awkwardly. then accidentally they both look at each other's eyes and smile.

For Bobby, he feels so lucky that Junhoe is there together they making music. One thing makes him worried is because he always believes he is not hanbin, a genius composer, who could easily consider each member characteristics in every songs he composed. Bobby has a strong preference for hiphop, and afraid it will affect them, but Junhoe is there to help, even though Junhoe just started into composing thing for the past six months and is still unfamiliar with recording equipment, but he can make the beats with his guitar, also his lyrical skill is very undeniable, thanks to his love for all those poems. 

It's already passed midnight so Bobby decided to end their studio session and go back home because they need to rest and sleep, tomorrow morning they will go to the airport heading to Hokkaido continue their Japan fan meeting, it's already their second fanmeeting this month.

although Bobby and Junhoe have been doing these routines together, it can't be denied that the awkwardness is still there, but they starting to get close, they might not as close as Bobby with Donghyuk or as comfortable as Junhoe with his Jinhwan hyung, but the other members are very proud of their progress. They would joke around saying it was their biggest achievement while teasing those two. 

The fact is none of Junhoe or Bobby ever imagined time like this would happen, where they spend time together, just the two of them, in the same room, without the urgency to run away from each other, like before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder you will find flashback between flashback.
> 
> Also forgive me if you see the typos here and there, i wrote this on my note at dawn 🙃 (yep can't sleep), and english is certainly not my first language 🙏

**_"Juneyaaaa"_ **

**_"Goo Junhoe!!"_ **

'hmmm why it's so quiet here' Jinhwan is wondering if Junhoe is still in his afternoon nap at this hour, he is about to open his door when Donghyuk comes out of his room.

**_"Junhoe isn't here"_** while zipping his brand new PMO green bomber jacket, he tells the older guy **" _he went to recording studio with Bobby hyung"_**

  
Now standing in front of the mirror in the living room, he look at his own reflection, with that cheeky smile on his face you can easily tell that Kim Donghyuk is satisfied with the outfits he chose today;

**_"really?"_** his brow furrowed in surprise, **_"wasn't it just yesterday they went to studio??! Wow"_**

**" _Right hyung!!! it's odd very odd"_ **Donghyuk finally starts the topic **" _I've been provoking bobby hyung to get the answer but all he did is just smacked my head and kicked me out his room, that hyung really!"_** remembering how hurt it was, he continues _" **Didn't Junhoe tell you anything?"**_

**" _no he didn't say anything, my guess they already managed the thing between them"_** of course it's Jinhwan who knows his little brother most **" _just let them be, they will tell us if they want to, even though I'm not used to see them being this close_ "** he cringes at the thought of Bobby and Junhoe suddenly play the bromance roles

**" _not me hyung, honestly i enjoy it a lot hahahaha"_ **as usual talking like a true shipper Donghyuk is.  


**" _Ya! We all do"_ **then he makes a phone gesture to Donghyuk **" _anyway tell yunyhyung and Chanwoo we're ready to go"_**

**" _yunhyung hyung texted me just now he said we can go first, they'll follow right after Chanwoo finish his ramyeon"_**

**"** **_T_ ** **_hey eat ramyeon before practice? Aigooya what is wrong with those two"_ **

**" _Probably they're making new content for youtube hyung"_ **he just laugh it off

....

**One week ago**

it was 2 am  
Junhoe was sitting in his favourite spot in his room, where he usually created the beautiful pieces his poems, Lee Moon Sae's Free My Mind was playing at the background. He thought by writing a poem could help him from insomnia, unfortunately there were no words he could think of, other than Hanbin's words when he called this evening

**" _Junesshi~_**

**_The poem is pretty, thank you for sharing"_ **

" ** _hehehe~ Hyung,_** ** _I'll send you more next time"_**

**" _again?? and I have no other choice but to respond to your poetry, I'm a busy man Junhoeya!!!"_** He jokingly said, deep down he feels so grateful that he had this talented little brother as his member

" _ **ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ because you're my best mentor"**_ even though he sounds playfully, Junhoe really meant it.

  
He just chuckled, knowing June could be sweet sometimes, " _ **you know Bobby hyung is also a good lyrical"**_ He paused for a sec and continued **"Aniway.** _ **.. have you talked to him?** "_

Junhoe was caught off guard by the question

_**"t-talk... what do mean?"** _

_**"you know what i mean"** _

_**"..."** _

_**"Just talk to him, and short whatever the thing happens between you two, you know I'm not there anymore and i couldn't leave it like that"** _

_**"I honestly can't figure it out hyung"** _

**" _I know june i know, but you have to remember, you and bobby hyung are not just co workers, we are family Juneya"_** he continued **" _i'm so sorry but it's so wrong that you two are still awkward to talk"_**

...

*beep beep beep*

Junhoe's deep thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone entered the house, and he knew it must be none other than the person who caused him to stay awake all night, Kim Jiwon.

He thought maybe it was the time, so gathering all his courage, he was standing in front of Bobby's room.

...

After shocking Bobby with his sudden 'invitation', they were sitting quietly in kitchen table with a couple cans of beers that Junhoe prepared while Bobby took a shower.  
Bobby hair was still wet, actually during his shower he was wondering what its all about, because never once in his life he imagined that Goo fcking Junhoe would knock on his door and offers him to drink together. just two of them.

 ** _"So did Jaeho hyung picked you up from studio?"_ **Junhoe tried to break the awkwardness

 ** _"He did"_ **sipping from his can, not bad after a tiring day in studio, **" _he said he will sleep in Hanbin's room tonight"_**

 ** _"Ooh..."_ **Junhoe tried so hard to keep the conversation going but he failed.

  
Bobby realised the situation, finally he was the one who broke the ice _" **So what is that Junhoe?"**_

" ** _I'm sorry hyung_ "** he tried to look at him in the eyes

**" _W_ _-what, sorry for what??"_**

**" _Fo_ _r all of these, you have to working hard in the studio all day, everyday, writing the new songs and stuff"_**

_" **It's okay, it's not like you guys were forcing me, i was the one who offered it remember?"**_ He tried to cheer up a bit so the guy in front of him wouldn't feel sorry. **" _Hyungdeul too, they are there to help me, sometimes Donghyuk too, after he finished with the dance practice, we are all in this together"_** he paused to look at him in the eyes _" **You can tag along too"**_

 **" _Do you really want me to?"_ **Junhoe was a bit surprised

**_"I-i mean if you want to, I'd be very grateful"_ **

**_"Of course i do hyung"_ **

It was quiet for a second, but then Jiwon suddenly talked _" **A**_ ** _nd please don't do that, don't feel sorry for me, hmm?"_**  
  
Junhoe was quite hesitate how to react to that but he thought it was the now or never situation, so he decided to said what he had in mind **_"_ _To be honest Hyung, I'm afraid that I'd be a nuisance to you"_**

_" **Goo junhoe, why do you think like that?"**_

_" **You know, with our members and our fans keep teasing us, you already did the best to keep the professionalism, i just don't wanna be a nuisance to you off the camera, a nuisance in your other space"**_

**" _What are you talking about?"_ **you can feel a little disappointment from his tone. 

**_"I don't even know what I'm talking about hyung"_ **He chuckled at this madness **_"why are we being like this"_** keeping his courage, he continued **_"Bobby hyung, I really admire you, but I'm very sorry if you think i went too far"_**  
 ** _"and perhaps, perhaps this is why sometime i keep avoiding you so you don't need to pretend that it was okay, i really hate myself for that"_**

**"** _**Listen Goo Junhoe, i never thought that you're a nuisance i swear"** he really felt the sting by what he just heard_

_" **Then why do you treat me differently?"**_ trying not to sound offensive, finally Junhoe asked him the question that he has been keeping in his heart for ages, **_"C_ _ould you please just treat me like the other members, like you do to Donghyuk or Chanwoo, like a little brother"_**

'Little Brother'

  
Bobby tried to give him the explanation but when he heard the last two words, suddenly he freeze, didn't know what to say. So after a moment of silence, with a heavy heart he finally said something **" _Al_ _right if you think that will make you feel better"_ **he give him a little smile, it looked more like sad smile. 

**" _Thank you, Jiwon hyung"_ **he returned the smile, the exact same smile Bobby gave him. 

Both of them were back in their rooms, laying on their beds, couldn't fall asleep.

  
One regretted everything he just did, but he tried to assure himself that it was the right thing for everyone.

The other one just staring at the ceiling of his room,

  
' _like a little brother'_  
 _'little brother'_

The words couldn't stop repeating in his head, and didn't realise tears were flowing down on his cheeks.  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Chapter 4 is here.  
> By the way i want to let you know that i've edited chapter 3, not a major change happened, but it might affect your view? maybe? idk? just re-read if you want 😅

Six months after the depart of Hanbin, finally Ikon were told to officially make a comeback as six members. The members didn’t know how to react, was it good nor bad, should they be happy or sad. Back then they would be over the moon every time they were approved to make a comeback.

Six of them know they have to bear this new feeling and get used to it for the sake of beloved fans that are faithfully waiting for them. The comeback is planned to be early 2020, and before that begin they’ve planned to do small projects for Ikon On; Yunhyung, Donghyuk, and Chanwoo wanted to do dance cover, Jinhwan decided to cover a song, Bobby is ready to release his own rap song this week and Junhoe will be the last one to release his self-composed song featuring Bobby

…

Today Junhoe and bobby are busy in YG studio, with the help from Producer Park Seong Ho, whom people know as The proof, Ahyeon noona was the one who introduced him to bobby, when she asked Bobby to autograph his album for her boyfriend, she told him that he's also a music producer, and then, being how friendly Bobby is, he asked her to introduce him, since then they become close and often making music together.

The three of them are doing the final touch, thankfully Junhoe and Bobby already made the guide track couple weeks ago, therefore it doesn't take a long time for them to wrap it.

After returning from Japan, Bobby and Junhoe decided to working on Junhoe’s song immediately. Actually Junhoe feels bad if Bobby has to help him after fanmeeting without a break, but Bobby insisted about that, Bobby thought that he was the one who suggested Seong Ho to Junhoe, so he wants to make sure it goes well and as planned since it is going to be Junhoe’s first solo. And deep down Junhoe kind of relieves by Bobby's presence, it makes the situation less awkward because this is the first time he met Seongho, and as Donghyuk said beforehand, he is really a cool guy.

…

They are having a coffee break after a late lunch, having small talk with ice americano

 ** _"So are you guys going to release the song digitally or just drop the MV like Bobby?_ "** Seong Ho asks Junhoe, while sitting in front of monitor.

 _ **"Since Bobby hyung is gonna release the MV, i prefer to do a live version, we thought it's better to do some variation for these projects, and our manager said the boss has no problem with that"**_ Junhoe said while looking at Bobby, hoping for a support statement from his fellow member

Bobby gets the clue he continues **_"Actually Sajangnim has ordered not to release our songs digitally and keep them for later, could be as additional songs on Ikon’s next album or possibly solo albums"_**

**_"Alright then, I think we should make an arrangement for the live version the sooner the better"_ **

_**"I'm thinking of Bobby Hyung to rap along within the outro, and for the hook after the drop, slightly decrease the sound of acoustic guitar on the back, what do you guys think?"**_ Junhoe proposed his idea

" ** _As if you're talking and not singing?"_**

**_“yep”_ **

**_"sounds like good idea"_ **Bobby says, nodding his head

 **" _Well then nothing much work to do, we will rearrange for the last part only, and the rest more or less will be the same"_** Seong Ho says while get rid of the cups from the equipment, getting back to work.

…

It is already four hours since their break and finally they have the job done

 ** _"Aigoo, it’s already dark and I’m hungry”_ **Bobby says while looking at his watch, already 09.00 pm.

 ** _"Let's order something I'm hungry too"_** Junhoe about to take his phone to order the food

_**"Sorry guys I have promised to have a dinner with Ahyeon, I think she’s already on the way to restaurant. Do you want to join us? Hana is also coming, we will have some barbeque"** _

**_"Jang Hana? Isn’t she in LA"_** Bobby asks, his brow furrowed

After left the company, Hana still keeps in contact with Bobby and Donghyuk, they’ve became friends ever since mix and max era, and she often coming to Bobby’s studio that’s why Seong Ho and Ahyeon know her as well.

 ** _"Apparently she and Ahyeon are guesting in the same festival this weekend, they were back from rehearsal together"_** SeongHo says while packing his stuff

**_"Really… let’s go eat together then, Junhoe let’s go, I’ll call Jaeho hyung to-“_ **

**_“Hyung I think I can’t”_ **Junhoe suddenly cut in. **_“I forgot that I’ve promised Jinhwan hyung to have a drink together tonight”_ **he says a bit hesitates

 ** _"Why?”_** Bobby blurted out

 _ **“W-why?”**_ Junhoe didn’t expect his reaction

**_“Why, Jinhwan Hyung?”_ **

_**"He keeps nagging me because these days i wasn't spending the time with him. That hyung really missed his drinking buddy"**_ Junhoe tries to laugh it off

 ** _"Didn't you just say you're hungry?"_** his tone changes

 ** _"Hmm ye-yeah, I think I’m gonna order something at home"_** Junhoe explains to them

Bobby goes quiet, doesn’t give any response, but Junhoe knows something is wrong.

**_"Mianhe Seong Ho hyung, I promise I will buy you food next time"_ **

**_"It's okay Junhoe, let’s hang out sometime, okay?"_** Seongho tries to ease the situation, he doesn’t know what happens but he can feel the tense between those two.

 _ **“Nae Hyung”**_ He smiles at him then he tries to look at Bobby who still has the same poker face.

**_"We will go first Junhe, bye. Bobby let's go"_ **

_**"Jal-ga Hyung, Bobby hyung too, drive safely"** _

_**“Hmm”**_ Bobby just responded to him with a single ambiguous word and go

Once they disappeared from his sight, Junhoe rest his head on the sofa, exhaling, as if he just dropped big burden off of his shoulders. _**"Stupid, what's wrong with me?"**_ he chuckle, bitterly smiles

He takes his phone and call his manager who is waiting for him downstairs ** _"Hyung, we are done, let's go home"_** he ends the call and put it in his pocket, doesn't even bother to check the unread messages notification.

...

**_"So how about ‘rest your bones’, was the MV shooting going well? "_** Seongho changes the subject, trying to easy the situation. They are on the way to restaurant.

 ** _"It was good, thanks to you hyung”_** he says while checking his phone, there are notifications from some GCs, and texts from Jinhwan Hyung, he opens them.

_"Ya Kim Jiwon, are you two still in studio?"_ – sent 07:00pm

 _"Guess you two are so busy since none of you read the gc nor reply my texts yet. Btw Donghyuk is in his parent house, his grandad is sick, and I'm out for a drink with Yunhyung, Chanwoo, and manager hyungs”_ -sent 08:30pm

 _“Also I'm afraid you punks will come home late so I'll sleep in upstairs tonight"_ –sent 08:32pm

'but Junhoe said Jinhwan hyung and him will go for a drink, did he lie to me?!' Bobby thought

Realize that Bobby being quite, with his eyes focus on his phone screen, Seongho snaps his fingers in his face **_“penny for your thought?”_**

  
**_"I’m so sorry hyung but can you drop me at the front stop?"_ **

**_"Why, something happened?"_ **

**_"Suddenly I have something to do"_ **

  
**_"Is it urgent? I'll drive you"_ **

  
**_"No no you don’t have to, Noona is waiting for you, I'll take a taxi"_**  
Bobby get out of the car and stop the taxi

  
**_"Gomawo hyung, say hello to the girls from me"_ **

  
**_"Arasso, bye"_ **

...

Bobby arrives at home, he taps the key then enters the living room, there he finds Junhoe sitting alone in the small kitchen table, surprised.

Junhoe heard the door being unlocked, he thought it was Jinhwan since he alredy replied to him that he's home, but to his surprise it was Bobby.

 _ **"H-hyung”**_ Shocked, he dropped the chopstick from his hand. **_“you’re back?"_**

_**"I didn’t go with them"** _

_**“O-oh”** _

It was quiet for a second until Junhoe awkwardly ask him

_**"so, ummhm… do you wanna eat… Jajangmyeon?"** _

Fortunately before Jaeho hyung left, he already ordered two portions of Jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk for Junhoe.

_**"Ne"**_ Bobby joins him and sit in the opposite chair.

They’re eating silently, nobody talk. Junhoe feels like the food he swallowed doesn't go in his stomach, but stuck in the throat.

Suddenly Bobby stops eating, eyes in his food but slowly looking at the person in front of him, then he says something.

_**"Why did you lie?"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you are wondering who's Ahyeon, She's former Crazy Girls dancer, one of the OG members along with Jihye,Miram and Boram <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 5, Enjoy! :)

**_"Why did you lie?"_ **

**_"I know you didn’t meet Jinhwan Hyung"_** Bobby paused, then he continue to ‘interrogating’ him, **_"Why?"_**

Junhoe confused he doesn't know how to answer, thinking for the right words carefully, his palms sweating, heavily looks at the older guy who’s still looking at him, 

**_"Mianhae hyung"_** finally it's just a simple sorry that came out of his lips.

Bobby is expecting him to give further explanation but to his disappointment, it doesn't happen. 

**_“I’m done, thanks for the food”_** he not even finished half of his food but he stands up and goes to the sink to put the utensil, Bobby proceeds to go to his room when he suddenly stops halfway, **_“Well, guess I was mistaken that you were comfortable enough to have a dinner with me and my friends. Sorry for that”_** after said that he leaves him alone in the kitchen.

Junhoe didn’t expect everything turned out this way, so before it’s getting worse he stands up and goes to bobby’s room.

…

Junhoe’s knocking on Bobby’s door softly but no response heard from the latter, it’s unlocked so he decides to enter his room, he figured that it is fine since all members including himself were used to burst into Bobby’s room to ~~steal~~ borrow his clothes, but the difference is he always did that when the master of the room wasn’t there so now he’s kind of nervous. The room is dark, the lamp is turned off but thankfully Junhoe still manages to see the things inside thanks to the lights from the outside.

 ** _“What is this again?”_** its Bobby’s voice, he’s lying down on his bed with his left arm covering his eyes.

**_“Hyung I just want to expl-”_ **

**_“Can we not talk about this now? I’m tired Junhoe”_** he stops and changes his position, now he sees Junhoe’s standing near the door **_“I need to rest so can you leave my room please”_** Bobby said faintly

Junhoe is kinda hurt by Bobby’s words but he promised himself to make it better so he’s encouraging himself to stay still in his spot

 ** _“Sorry hyung, I don’t think I can leave it until tomorrow because it will end up of me chickening out and not saying anything”_** Junhoe said sound desperate

Finally bobby sits down on the edge of his bed, he taps the bed side next to him with his left arm, signaling the younger to sit there, Junhoe knows exactly that he feels very intimidated with Bobby's presence; he immediately follows the order and sits there.

 ** _"I think you are misunderstanding me, I did not feel uncomfortable to go with you and your friends"_** Junhoe takes a deep breath then he continues, **_"Honestly when i heard Hanna noona was there, suddenly the atmosphere changed it felt like a double date…?”_** he sounds hesitate, **_“and if i was there I'm afraid I’d be the third wheels, I'm afraid, I'd look pitiful because of my unwanted presence"_**

Junhoe let out a heavy sigh, trying to sound amicable this time, **_"and I just... just thought as a dongsaeng maybe it was better to let you and Hanna noona have some time together, and i thought maybe... maybe you also wanted that"_**

_It wasn't a secret that Hanna was having a crush on Bobby, all members and close people around them know that because the way she acts was very obvious towards him and she didn't mind what people think about that. What they didn't know is that she already asked him out and confessed her feelings, but he rejected her, he apologized he couldn't return her feelings. Bobby can only regard her as a friend, sometimes as a sister. Hanna is a straightforward person, she would say bad if it's bad and she would say good if it's good, he likes her honest demeanor, that's why he really value their friendship. Bobby knew it would be very selfish of him if he asked her for them to be remaining friends, but he still did that anyway. Hanna told him it wasn't easy for her to act as if it never really happened or erase her feelings just like that. But she said she appreciated his decision therefore she asked him to give her time for everything to be back to normal again, and Bobby understands that._

_They maybe not telling a single soul about that but being very sensitive and very close Kim Donghyuk is, he can already figure out what happened between his hyung and his noona, even though she is still hanging out in Bobby's studio it doesn't as intensive as before and the way she treats his hyung is the same way she does to him when they're all together, and when Bobby found out that Donghyuk understands what happened he asked him to keep it between them._

So after hearing what Junhoe said, it makes Bobby mad, mad at himself because he can't really tell him his true feelings. He replies to him, sound frustrated **_"You thought i wanted that? what makes you think that you can decided what my heart really wants Junhoeya?"_** Bobby can't stop his emotions this time

**_"Hyung..."_ **

**_"Do you by any chance, still thinking that i was pretending my gestures towards you for the past few weeks, when I accompanied you in the studio, or asked you for a drink? It-it isn't right… Is it?“_** now his tone totally changed, from mad to scared, he scared that it might be true

 ** _"Oh God no... No hyung i promise you. I know your gesture is sincere, you were trying to relieve awkwardness between us and i really appreciate that"_** Junhoe stops, he looking at his hyung, trying to let him see through his eyes, and thankfully it does work, Bobby's eyes began to soften, no longer fiery like a minute ago. **_"I really am trying to do the same, i want to make it work, but stupidly I just messed it up and made things worse, I'm sorry hyung"_**

Bobby isn’t sure of what he sees, are these sparks in Junhoe's eyes are from the tears or because of the light from outside the window. So he begins to talk **_“Well, I think we’re just thinking too much about this, maybe we still trying to get use to all of this”_**

The atmosphere suddenly becomes calm; it was quit for a sec until Junhoe breaks the silent

 ** _"I feel like a boomer, i backed out and ruined the fun, you know hyung i used to dislike that kind of person but i turned out to be one"_** he chuckle in sarcasm

 ** _"you know what Junhoe, that is life about, sometimes we fancy things that we used to detest, sometimes we hate things that we used to favor, and sometimes we became the kind of people whom we wished we were not them, It's okay as long as you know the reason behind those changes, even if it takes time"_** Bobby puts his hand on Junhoe's shoulder, like giving him an assurance. 

Junhoe smiles in gratefulness, and he unconsciously blurts out **_"of course he’s so cool"_**

**_"What?"_ **

**_"Uh?"_ **

**_"What did you say"_ **

**_"I didn't, do i?!"_** he panicky responded, _'shit Goo Junhoe get a grip of yourself'_ he mentally curse

 ** _"You said I'm cool"_** Bobby is blushing, first he thanking his sweet God because the room is dark, and second he thanking his sweet 'dongsaeng' for the compliment he gave, **_"thanks anyway"_**

 ** _"ah ne- hyung"_** he responded with a little awkward laugh and stands up **_"ahmmm i think you must be exhausted, so i-i m going to leave now"_** Junhoe put his hand on his pocket and another hand pointing to the door with his thumb **_"Goodnight"_** He walks and when his hand reaches the doorknobs, Bobby suddenly called so he turned his head towards his hyung

 ** _"Junhoe, this saturday I'll hang out with Donghyuk, just him and i, do you want to come along? Of course if you are free"_** Bobby ask while scratching his head

 ** _"Ne Hyung, i would love to_** " he stopped for a sec and continued, **_"Bobby hyung... thank you for asking me"_** and Junhoe immediately get out of his room, he closed the door and lean on it, exhaling, suddenly he smiles like an idiot but doesn't realize at the moment someone is staring at him.

**_"What is this Goo Junhoe"_** It was Kim jinhwan standing in front of him

**_"AHH what the heck hyung you scared me!!”_** Junhoe shock at his sudden appearance, he holds his chest in surprised

**_"Moya you two?"_ **

**_"Jinani are you drunk?"_** Junhoe tries to change the topic

 ** _"No I'm just tipsy, Ya let's talk for a minute"_** he goes to his room

 ** _"When did you come home, aren't you going out with the guys"_** Junhoe asks, following him from behind.

...

Now they’re in Jinhwan’s room, sitting on his bed

 ** _"Maknae is having upset stomach, we came back early and you texted me you are home so I'm sleeping in my room"_** he grins

 ** _“So is he okay?”_** Junhoe responded, worry about his chinggu.

**_“Who Chanwoo? He should be better, Taewoong hyung already gave him a medicine, and he wants to sleep earlier”_ **

Junhoe nods in response, he continues, **_"So what is that you want talk?"_**

**_"You and Bobby, don't you want to tell me something?"_** Jinhwan might look tipsy but he's still sober enough to have this conversation. 

Junhoe isn't a good pretender, everybody knows especially Jinhwan hyung, hiding something from him is useless he thought 

**_"Me and Bobby hyung, we talked, well i actually i wanted to do that long time ago but i didn't have the courage until Hanbin hyung confront me"_ **

**_"Hmmm"_** Jinhwan just listening, letting his dongsaeng talks

**_"Under this circumstance, we thought things should change between us, for us and our fans, i mean it's good tho, bobby hyung and i... we're starting to act normally, isn't it?"_ **

**_"Of course it's, everybody is happy with this progress, ya you should see how excited Donghyuk is"_** he laughs mentioning his dongsaeng name

 ** _"Did Bobby hyung tell him already?"_** he can’t hide his curiosity

 ** _"Ani, i don't think he did, yet. Why? Are you disappointed if he did"_** He asked him bluntly with a little influence from alcohol

 ** _"No, i just feel… maybe weird? It’s funny that everything happened at once"_** he chuckles ironically

Jinhwan let a heavy sigh in response, **_“me too, but for now this the best we can do, for Hanbin, for Jiwon, for Yunhyung, for Donghyuk, for Chanwoo, for you and for me"_** he said and then lean his head on Junhoe’s shoulders.

**_"It’s been so long since we talk like this, aigoo"_ **

**_"eung we're extremely busy, so how's your song?"_ **

Junhoe smiles looking at his hyung pouting like a kid when he’s drunk like this (although he says he doesn’t xD) **_"It’s done; we just need to shoot for video"_**

 ** _"eung"_** he nods, **_"So how are you?”_** He stops for a sec and continues “ ** _Is HE still bothering you?"_**

Junhoe surprised with that sudden question but he knows what his hyung meant **_"He finally quit doing that, since we broke up i never see him again neither answer to his calls"_**

 ** _"Good, that bastard deserves it, nobody can hurt my little dongsang"_** he pinched junhoe’s cheek softly

 ** _“AH APPA Hyung”_** Junhoe pretending to be hurt

Jinhwan just laughing, pleased after teasing his naughtiest dongsaeng, he suddenly he stands up and kicks Junhoe out of his room **_“Now get out of my room, I need some private time”_**

**_"YA Jinani, you asked me to come now you kick me out. Are you gonna do some nasty things"_ **

**_"What if i do, I'm an adult and healthy guy.”_ **

‘Here we go, His mood suddenly changes without a warn’ Junhoe thought

 ** _"This hyung really"_** acting in disbelief **_"Then can i watch it with you?"_** He playfully asked.

 ** _"YA this punk get out now!! Also I'm watching some girls and you won't like it anyway"_** He hush-ing Junhoe with his hand, telling him to go.

Finally Junhoe gets out of his hyung room still laughing at angry Jinhwa, he thought it’s good to laugh from his antics after long day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super late update, sorry xD  
> here's chapter 6! Happy reading :)

**_“Should I just go back home? I don’t wanna be the third wheel really”_** Donghyuk asked as if he’s troubled.

 ** _“YA!”_** Both Bobby and Junhoe yelled at the same time, meanwhile Donghyuk just laughing at their reaction, he keeps fooling around with the two since he was told about Junhoe would tag along with them this weekend, even last night he barged into Bobby’s room, told him he would sacrifice his plans for him and Junhoe but ended up getting a flick landed on his forehead

 ** _“So where are we going first?”_** Junhoe asked as they entered the elevator of their apartment

 ** _“Boontheshop!”_** Donghyuk said very excited

 ** _“Are you sure they have them?”_** Bobby asked him to make sure their trip to the shop will not go down the drain

 ** _“Hundred percent! they posted it on IG last night”_** Donghyuk has been waiting for a pair of ALYX limited sneakers since it was officially launched last week, it becomes rare items worldwide and already sold out in every major online retail shops, so today he wouldn’t miss the chance

After 40 minutes of taxi ride, they arrived at their destination in Apgujeong-dong. Donghyuk immediately entered the shop and walked to the stall where they put his soon-to-be babies

 ** _"Don't you want to buy something too?"_** Bobby asked Junhoe when they entered building

 ** _"I don’t know, usually my mom or noona who did the shop for me"_** he explained as his eyes screening the clothes displayed around

  
Bobby nods, he remembers that Junhoe is not that interested in fashion, **_"but is there something you like or, should i pick one for you?"_**

 ** _“Hmm… sure_** ” he agreed with the older's offer, it’s been so long since last time he went shopping for the clothes and to be quite honest he doesn’t know much about current season trends

Bobby is busy looking at the jacket collection from a Japanese brand and all of sudden he heard Junhoe chuckles behind his back, **_"Waeyo?"_** he asked, confused.

**_"It’s just funny, i have the best rapper in the country as my personal shopper"_ **

**_"Was that supposed to be a compliment?”_** he laughed a little hearing that

**_“Well let’s say so”_ **

Even if that was just a joke, it really got Bobby thrilled. He delightedly continues to roam through the stall until he found something that caught his eyes **_"Junhoe try this one"_** _,_ Bobby hand him a black sweatshirt from TAKAHIROMIYASHITA The Soloist, Junhoe takes it and heads to the fitting room while Bobby waiting behind the curtain.

It takes a couple of minutes for him to get change; when he’s done he opens the curtain **_"How is this?"_**

 ** _"You look so good"_** Bobby walks closer and now stands behind him, who's looking at his reflection in the mirror ** _"... and sexy"_** He said that softly, whether he is aware or not by the effect of those words for them, but one thing for sure he just told truth. Bobby is indeed right, the zipper cuts at each arm sides and the back showing his bare shoulders and emphasize his sexiness

They both stay still, looking at each other through the mirror, Junhoe feels like the room temperature suddenly rise, and his stomach feels weird, _'Please don't'_ Junhoe said to himself, mad by the familiar feeling that suddenly came and bothering him

Meanwhile the older guy holds the urge to touch him, to hug him from behind. he knows restrain himself always be difficult, but for a few seconds he feels that life is so unfair, why he and Junhoe could be this close only after he made a promise to treat him like a brother

 ** _"So, ehmmm, you want this?"_** Bobby asked him, brings back his head to reality

 ** _"It’s surprisingly comfortable, I like it"_** Junhoe said while touching its fabric, trying to look normal

 ** _"Ya guys what is this?!”_** Donghyuk suddenly comes carrying a big paper bag in his hand **_“I thought Junhoe didn't like to be here, I was worried you’d be annoyed so I paid my shoes as soon as I got them, but here you are he fitting with Bobby hyung"_**

 ** _"You paid them already?"_** Junhoe asked

 ** _"eung"_** Donghyuk showed him his paper bag

 ** _"Okay then wait for me I'll pay mine first"_** he was about to go but Bobby stopped him

**_"Let me pay for it"_ **

**_"But hyung the price is-"_ **

**_"It's okay it was me who suggested you to buy that"_** Bobby saw Junhoe's doubtful expression, then he continued to reassure him **_"or consider this as congratulations gift for your first solo?"_**

 ** _"arasseo, Thank you hyung"_** he doesn't want to argue and just get change to his shirt

 ** _"Ya even if you ask for a car he'll really get one for you the next day"_** Donghyuk playfully teasing him

**_"Ya stop it will you?"_ **

**_"okay okay mianhae"_** Donghyuk apologize while embracing the annoyed friend

Once they done shopping and paid the delivery service (for the items they bought), they grab a late lunch at one of Bobby's favorite beef soup restaurants. And later they decided to play in the bowling alley, it was Donghyuk idea, it has been so long since last time he bowl with Bobby and Junhoe

Without doubt Donghyuk is a great bowler, alongside Yunhyung they are the aces in the group, Bobby isn’t bad too, meanwhile it is not a secret that Junhoe is not very skillful, well precisely so awful, during the game bobby and Donghyuk were entertained by his silly moves and he ended up making the balls went straight to the gutter, for some reasons Junhoe also enjoyed seeing these two continuously laughed while clapping like the seals, he missed to fool around with his fellow members like the old days. Junhoe lasted until the 3nd round before he gave up and decided to be the supporter in 1 vs 1 batttle between Bobby and Donghyuk. He didn't care which team he sided with, he was just cheering and high-fiving anyone who successfully hit the pins, the gesture also helped him and Bobby forget the awkward 'incident' in the changing room

  


  


  


…

  


They spent hours and hours in bowling alleys and stopped until they felt hungry. The three of them decided to went to the fancy steakhouse nearby, and according to the bet the one who lost battle paid for their dinner

 ** _"Why were you so good hyung, you're not fun"_** Donghyuk protested

 ** _"Wae, I'm always this good"_** Bobby cheekily smile, feeling proud of himself

 ** _"Ani, usually you were never like this, you were trying hard, neomu jaemieobseo, Ya Goo Junhoe because of you"_** He said, acting mad

 ** _"Why me? I did nothing, I'm just a supporter"_** Junhoe tried to defend himself

 ** _"That's the problem! "_** he exclaimed, being fussy because of his clueless friend

 ** _"ya come here give me your head!"_** Bobby tried to headlock Donghyuk but the younger managed to dodge him, ** _"are you new at this? You know when I’m comfortable with my throws, i can execute them properly on a consistent basis, you should take a note"_**

 ** _"Tsk i know what to do, just shut up and eat your food hyung_** " he grumble while cutting the steak **_"why he's so annoying today"_**

Bobby laughs at his reaction **_"The steak here is delicious, gomawo dongsaeng-ah~"_** he teases him while feeding himself a chunk of meat, Bobby is satisfied to see Donghyuk sulking like that, don't get him wrong usually he can never win the argument over this witty and smooth talking dongsaeng, moment like this doesn't happen very often

Junhoe just smile as he looking at his band mates bickering like that, he knows these two have that brotherhood relationship and as much as he wants to be close with bobby, he’s aware that he could never pass that, neither himself nor any other members can mingle between that, and honestly he regards it very admirable. The thought just makes him feel grateful that heaven sent Kim Jinhwan to his life, he knows they also have similar bond and understands how precious that is, therefore he got no reason to feel left out

The three of them are so invested in their conversations, with good friends and good foods make them not aware of the surroundings, even when someone walked over to their table, until Junhoe being quiet all of a sudden and Bobby notice that **_"Junhoeya do you want-"_**

**_"Oraenmanieyo, Goo Junhoe"_ **

Bobby was cut by the voice behind him and he can already guess whose voice is that

Meanwhile Junhoe just sitting there, staring at his ex-boyfriend. He is wearing black leather jacket and black cap, standing right behind Bobby's seat

For almost a minute neither of them speak a word, until the new comer break the silent, **_"Annyeong haseyo, Kim Donghyuk-sshi"_** then he looked at Bobby **_"Bobby-sshi"_** , he tried to greet the two with manner

It’s an awkward situation for Donghyuk, he just replied him with a nod. Meanwhile Bobby just sits still, didn’t bother to respond

 ** _"What are you doing here?"_** Junhoe finally opened his mouth

 ** _"I'm going to have a dinner here, with my friends and I- I"_** he stoped, kind of hesitate to explain further **_"I heard your laughter from the hallway, and I thought I was wrong, but here you are"_**

Junhoe's trying not to look affected and ignore him ** _"Well enjoy your food"_**

**_"Junhoe, can we talk"_** he's pleading softly

**_"There’s nothing to talk between us"_ **

He comes closer to Junhoe, standing right next to his seat, **_"Please... I need to tell you something"_**

 ** _"Jo Byung gyu-sshi"_** finally Bobby speak up after being quiet since he arrived, **_"can't you hear that? He said he doesn't want to"_**

 ** _"Please, just a moment"_** Byung gyu touched his arm

**_"Take your hand off of him!"_ **

**_"Excuse me?"_** now he looks at Bobby who provoking him

 ** _"Enough hyung"_** Donghyuk tried to ease him, truthfully he was bit surprised to see his hyung’s reaction, usually he’s always be the calmest and coolest one in this kind of situation

Junhoe finally stands up, doesn't want to make any scene, although they sit in the corner and no customers around their table, he's still afraid that someone might record them and it'll make a headline the next day, **_“Alright let’s talk”_**

 ** _“Ya Junhoe”_** Donghyuk exclaimed, trying to get his sense back

 ** _“Thank you Junhoe, and wait a minute I’m going to make a call”_** Byung gyu excused himself to call someone; he tells the person in the other line that he caught up with something urgent and can’t join the dinner.

Meanwhile Bobby looks at Junhoe, can’t believe of what he just heard

 ** _“It’s okay, I will be fine”_** he looks at Donghyuk and Bobby but the later still quiet, doesn’t say anything.

**_“Donghyuk-ah, can you help me not to tell our managers about this?”_ **

**_“Ya! are you crazy?”_ **

**_“I need to do this”_** he looks into his eyes, **_“It won’t be long, I promise I’ll come back home as soon as it’s done, please?”_** He keeps pleading

 ** _“I don’t know”_** Donghyuk then looks at the elder seeking for a help

 **_“Do whatever you want”_** Bobby simply responded

 ** _“Urggh…okay”_** he continued **_“please be careful, I won’t give you any lecture because I believe you are wise enough to understand our circumstance”_**

**_“Gomawo Donghyuk-ah”_ **

**_“Should we go now?”_** Byung gyu came back and pick Junhoe after he made a call

They’re about to go when suddenly Bobby called his name, **_“Junhoe, promise if something happens call me or Donghyuk right away?”_** Even if he has that poker face on, his concern voice couldn’t betray him

 ** _“Ne hyung I promise”_** He assured him with a nod and a little smile

Finally Junhoe and Byunhg gyu left the restaurant with his car; they’re going to a quite tranquil bar nearby, where they often visited when they were still together.

  


  


  


…

  


Meanwhile Bobby and Donghyuk are on the way back to their home. The ride is very quiet, the taxi driver is being professional not minding his passengers’ business, probably the old man doesn’t know the people who sit in the back are famous idols.

Donghyuk looking at the city lights through the window, make the night looks busy.

**_“Donghyuk-ah, neomu appa”_ **

He looks at the guy next to him who's staring at the window. Finally after a longtime he didn’t see his hyung crying like this.

 ** _“My heart, it feels so hurt”_** Bobby's voice began to tremble

Bobby is always be the older brother to him, he always trying his best to be strong for him and the others, and seeing him breaking down like this really hurt him, he realize how hard it must be for him. Bobby maybe never told him about his true feeling but he is quite understand how it is

**_“Just tell him your feelings, hyung”_ **

**_“What if I ruin everything”_** letting the tears wet his cheeks crying his heart out , **_“I’ve lost one member, we are already suffered enough”_** , he chokes **_“I- I am so sorry for loving him”_** tonight, for the first time since Hanbin left, Bobby finally let himself drown into sadness in front of his member

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you wonder, here's the $ 3000k+ sweatshirt look like  
> https://img.ssensemedia.com/image/upload/b_white/c_scale,h_820/f_auto,dpr_1.0/192970M204001_3.jpg


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter updated! 'Happy' reading everyone :)

They've arrived in the bar called 'Ciél', it's located around the corner of the street in Hannam-dong, it was actually a medium sized house owned by Hiro Matsui, a Japanese man who has been living in Seoul for almost 10 years, he has remodeled half of it into a small and cozy bar. He runs the bar along with his Korean wife Cha Soo-ri, who’s a tattoo artist. Junhoe and Hiro met two years ago when he was (secretly) taking a brief writing class during the break he got after Ikon’s tour ended, they became partners by chance for small project as a part of the course. Maybe sometimes Junhoe finds it awkward for him to interact with people around his age but it's the opposite when it comes to the adults. He thought maybe he's such old-fashioned guy but little did he know that people regard it as one of his charms

**_"Welcome- aigoo Junhoe you here"_** Hiro was waving and smiling at him from the counter but he stopped as he saw Byung-gyu followed him from behind.

Junhoe replied his gesture with a little smile, giving him the signal and Hiro just nodded, understanding the situation. 

**_"Just sit in the corner, I'll get you something"_** Hiro pointed his finger at the table in the corner, aware of the fact that they are celebrities and might need some privacy since he knows they were once dating

**_"Thanks hyung, but sorry i won't be long"_ **

**_"It's okay"_ **

They sat in the corner of the back area, with a petite white blind that covered the glass door, preventing the view from hall, and fortunately it's still early and they barely see any customers, because every weekend Hiro and Suri always open Ciél a bit late and they close it until dawn.

 ** _"How have you been all this time?"_** Byung-gyu was the first to begin the conversation as soon as they sat at the table, he wanted to make it less awkward since Junhoe didn’t say anything during their way to the bar

 ** _"What’s that?!”_** Junhoe chuckled in sarcasm, **_"Just cut it out"_**

 ** _"Why you never pick up my calls? I can’t even see you anymore"_** knowing that Junhoe wasn’t up for any chit-chat, he immediately brought up the subject

 ** _"You must be kidding me?! Look the only reason I agree to follow you here is because I want you to stop bothering me, you knew that we’re over, I can believe you even came to my parents’?!”_** Junhoe’s lower his voice, almost lost it when he remembered his mom’s worried face, **“ _Byung-gyu, we both are adults, we started this on good terms, let’s just end this the same way, for once and all_** ”

 ** _“What? No you were the one who decided it, i never agree to this"_** Byung-gyu can’t believe of what he just heard

**_"We were good until you played with my heart, you fucked me up, you were busy dating Bo-Ra noona while you were still my boyfriend"_ **

**_"It was our agencies' ideas, all of this was merely a media play, it’s just an act, please Junhoe you know how things work"_ **

**_"Damn it Jo Byung-gyu!! You two even got caught by dispatch at the hotel abroad, that time when I almost lost my hope because they kicked Hanbin Hyung, when i needed you the most"_ **

**_"it- it was"_ **

**_"I knew… I knew it was started with a fake relationship"_** Junhoe looked at him in the eyes, ** _"until that look, that look you gave her has changed, and i realized you love her too"_** he didn’t know what kind of excuse that Byung-gyu would say, even after a few seconds words haven’t come out of his mouth yet, only to prove Junhoe that his presumption was right, **_“But It doesn’t matter now, for my heart already forget about you”_**

Byung-gyu knew every words that came out of Junhoe’s mouth, he always meant it, so stood up in front of him and bent on his knees **_"I’m sorry, I realized that I needed you, I always need you, please i don't want to lose you”_**

 ** _"Is it not enough for you to hurt me? Please stop it, I'm so tired of hating people, hating you, let's just move on with our life"_** Junhoe threw a heavy sigh, feeling exasperated and tired at the same time

 ** _"Junhoe I'm so sorry, I promise I will fix everything, baby please get back like how we used to be"_** Byung-gyu lift his body closer to junhoe, took his hand and rub it

 ** _"You’re impossible"_** Junhoe couldn’t believe of what he just heard, he tried to pull his hand away from him but the later tightened his grip and touched his cheek with his other hand, ** _"What are you doing?"_**

 ** _"I miss you so much"_** He moved his hand from Junhoe’s cheek to his neck and closed the gap between them

 ** _"get off-"_** He was too late as Byung-gyu took his lips harshly, Junhoe tried to get free of him but he just deepen the kiss while holding his neck with one hand and the other gripping his wrist very tight, almost like he twisted it. Junhoe didn't have any option but to bite Byung-gyu's lip, it made him stop and groaned in pain, then he pushed him hard, **_"Get the fuck off"_**

**_"I've vowed to myself not to use any violence to other people, but you know what? You’re such a trash and you deserves it"_** Junhoe tried to get a grip of himself as he watched his ex-boyfriend withering on the floor, touched his bleeding lip

 ** _"If I'm a trash, so what are you?"_** he got up, wiping the blood in his lip, **_"You let that bastard Kim Jiwon flirting with you on TV, and how many time you talked about him when i just filled you with my love" he looked at junhoe's expression has changed from anger to worry, "why? Do you think I will never notice that"_** he chuckled, came closer to Junhoe's ear, **_"you think after broke up with me, you can date him? look at the state of your group now"_** Byung-gyu knew that he successfully pushed the button so he continued **_"and see how it will be if your fans find out that you're betraying them all this time, you will be the one that destroy your own group with your selfishness"_**

With that Byung-gyu departed from the bar, leaving him completely lost in thought, forgetting the pain in his hand. Junhoe sat there for almost ten minutes without move an inch, he really hates him, not because he hurt him physically, but for being right, all this time he has been hiding from the truth but in the end someone finally pointed that out.

 ** _"Are you alright?"_** Hiro came hurriedly from the counter, ten minutes after he saw Byung-gyu left with that furious face, Junhoe hasn’t come out yet so he began to worry, and he was right, he found Junhoe sat there helplessly, he looked so pale then Hiro noticed his wrist was redden, ** _"oh god what happened? Wait i will get something"_**

**_"No Hyung i have to go, i promised my members to come back soon, or we will be in trouble if our manager find out"_** Junhoe stopped him when he was about to take something from emergency box in the next door

 ** _"But look at you"_** Hiro really cares about him like his own brother, it hurt him to see Junhoe in the state he’s in right now

 ** _"Just help me fetch a taxi, please"_** he looked at his hyung pleading

 ** _"Alright just this time"_** Trying to understand his situation,Hiro finally gave in

**_"Thank you hyung"_ **

****

... 

Junhoe arrived at their dorm one hour later, he made sure to notify Donghyuk and Bobby that he's already home. Thankfully they covering him from manager hyung upstairs, and also Jinhwan is visiting his parents for his mom's birthday so he didn't have to make up an excuse about his bruises, because to be completely honest Junhoe really hates to lie so he make a mental note to apologize properly for making his members did that for him. 

He went to bathroom to wash his face and cool his head; he then put warm water into small basin and brings it to his room. He sit in the chair and begins to compress his wrist with that water, he's hurt and tired, thinking about take a sleeping pill after this so he can sleep as soon as possible and forget the pain but suddenly he hears someone knocking on his door, he gets up and opens it

 ** _"Bobby hyung..."_** He finds Bobby standing in front of the door, but he notices something isn't right with him, his eyes looks sad and a little bit tipsy, **_"what's wrong?"_**

 ** _"Can we talk? In private?"_** He quietly asked Junhoe

 ** _"Come on in"_** he opened his door wider to let Bobby in and closed it

 ** _"So what’s that hyu-"_** he startled when Bobby eyeing the water container with small towel on his table, so he tried to hide his left hand behind his back but Bobby was fast enough to notice his movement

 ** _"What happened? Let me see that"_** Bobby sees a glimpse of his redden hand and tries to grab it

**_"Its nothing-”_** He’s late as Bobby already saw that

 ** _"Jesus fucking Christ"_** Bobby curses upon seeing the bruises **_"did he do this to you? I told you to call me didn't i?"_**

Junhoe’s just quiet, having no excuse to give

 ** _“Let’s go to the clinic”_** Bobby trying to take him but the younger guy won’t budge from his position

**_"It’s not that bad hyung, I’m sure it will be gone by tomorrow"_ **

**_"DO YOU EVER FUCKING LISTEN TO ME?!"_** unconsciously Bobby raise his voice at him, feeling frustrated

Junhoe doesn’t say anything, he is too shocked to speak, he quivers inside, the last time his hyung shouting at him like this was when they were still rookies, he was young and ignorance, no displeasure afterwards, but now as an adult it hits him differently

a few seconds of silence in the air, Bobby notice junhoe's face turns pale so he just drop a heavy sigh, can’t stand seeing Junhoe so vulnerable like that, **_“Sit there”_** he orders in calmer voice now

Junhoe follows the order and sits in his bed, the older guy sits next to him with warm towel in his hand and damp it gently to Junhoe’s wrist, He winces softly when it touched his skin, **_“Minhaeyo hyung, I’m sorry for being careless, but I’m so tired to go anywhere tonight, my head feels like about to explode”_**

Bobby doesn’t say anything, he just trying to compress the wound and intensively stares at it, he hears another soft groan from Junhoe so he looks at him, concern that he might touch him too hard, but younger guy just shakes his head and bits his lip, bearing the pain, **_"What's the point of spending all day at the gym, you should have just broke his bones"_**

 ** _"He was actually a good person"_** Junhoe suddenly talks about his ex, makes the older guy stop and looks at him, **_"he was so kind to me, but now he's... different, like a completely different person"_** he looks at Bobby in the eyes and continue **_"I also ‘hurt’ him, very hard"_** he chuckles, knowing that he's not much different from that bastard, **_"I asked him to end everything, so i think we're even now, nothing left between us"_** he smiled, trying to assure his hyung not to worry about him, **_“Sorry for making you guys worried”_**

 ** _"Goo Junhoe, why you're so naive"_** Bobby places the towel aside and put his hand on Junhoe's, ** _"I shouldn't **have let you go wit** h him” _**his fingers softly rubbing Junhoe’s hand, and they move to his face, his thumb is smoothing along the line of his cheek.

 ** _"Hyung..."_** He is stunned by his action, they look at each other eyes then to the lips, until the gap between them slowly disappear. Bobby bend over and kiss him on the lips, a soft peck then he pulls back, looking at Junhoe's reaction but the later just close his eyes, so he kisses him again, deeper this time.

The kiss gets more heated up so Bobby push him slowly until Junhoe’s back met the bed, his right hand makes its way to Junhoe’s waist while he lets the other support his body, lips melted together, he diligently devouring his pink and plump lips, earning a soft moan from Junhoe’s mouth that triggering Bobby to go further, and when Bobby ask for more access he bit his bottom lip, but Junhoe is taken aback, his mind suddenly went back to the accident that just happened at the bar, he opens his eyes and pull away

 ** _"We can't"_** Junhoe remembers Byung-gyu's last words; the memory is coming back and haunting him. 

**_"I'm sorry Junhoe i shouldn't-"_ **

**_"aniyo, I- I just- I'm so tired, Could you please leave me alone"_** Junhoe sits back to his position and clears his throat

 ** _"Sorry"_** Bobby stands up, hesitantly leaving the room

When the door closed Junhoe drops his body on the bed, a shiver runs up his spine at the thought of what will happen if he keeps this feeling, Junhoe touch his heart that beating so fast, ‘why this is very unbearable’ he thought, Junhoe doesn’t even have enough energy to cry, all he wants is run away or just simply disappear


End file.
